Metropolitan Police. Vauxhall
Motors. Harrogate Railway Athletic. PSV Eindhoven. Manchester United. Arsenal.
All football clubs of various standing, from the Barclays Premier League to the
Northern Premier League, taking in a handful of European Cups as well. All work
teams at various stages in their lives.
Manchester United were
originally Newton Heath LYR Football Club, made up of employees of the Lancashire
and Yorkshire Railway, wearing green and gold – brought to a new generation of
fans by way of a 1990s away shirt and the Glazer Out brigade. Similarly Arsenal
were founded by workers at a munitions factory in Woolwich (a fact still
brought up regularly by Spurs supporters).
Crook gets nicked by Wrighty
The Metropolitan Police
meanwhile are at a different stage in their evolution. The club are still run
by current or retired Police officers and staff, several members of the
coaching staff are Bobbies, but at present, none of the players have walked the
beat. The club still get noticed as a result of their heritage, with last
season’s league table (after 27 matches) showing W9 D9 L9 unfortunately a
marketing opportunity missed. If you can’t buy a club replica shirt from there,
you won’t be getting a hastily made t-shirt. The club are advertising for
someone to administer a club shop on their behalf.
In the days of austerity, large
organisations giving company time off for employees to play top level support
is a rarity indeed. Despite heavily plastering home internationals with their
branding, Vauxhall will no doubt be ensuring that their staff are stuck to a
production line making the new Adam, Clive or whatever it’s called. The club
had to resign their place in the Conference North last year and regroup several
divisions lower due to the costs involved.
This isn’t the equivalent of
the American work softball team (even with C. Montgomery Burns recruiting
ringers). The higher achieving clubs have moved beyond their employment. PSV
Eindhoven started life as a recreation for staff working at Philips, while
their initial crest resembled a lightbulb, representing the parent company. The
jerseys are still sponsored by the firm, while their ground is called the
Philips Stadion. I doubt their players are still forced to work in the factory,
manually rewinding cassette tapes or road-testing their DVD players.
I told you to trim those sideburns!
A recent listen to the BBC’s World
Football Phone-In podcast had the peerless Tim Vickery talk about the origins of
various sporting clubs throughout South America – focusing heavily on Uruguayan
giants Peñarol, who were originally known by the simple moniker of Central
Uruguay Railway Cricket Club (CURCC). It was part of a wider discussion about
the European influence on sport throughout the continent, also including the
always-entertaining name of the Chilean club O’Higgins, formed by the
descendants of Irish nobility.
One recurring theme throughout
the world is the number of clubs with Police or military backgrounds. The much
lampooned Police Machine, winners of a Nigerian league match 67-0 in 2013, are
regularly mentioned on the Football Ramble. Thai club Police United were
managed by Finnish wanderer Mika Lönnström until recently, until firing him
under what his agent called ‘controversial circumstances’, probably unpaid
parking tickets. Vietnamese second division team Viettel FC were once known as
The Cong, the football team of the Vietnam People’s Army. Didn’t see them on
Forrest Gump or Full Metal Jacket.
Rage Against The Police Machine
We live in different times,
where it’s unlikely that we’ll ever see a work football team rise to the professional
ranks. I’m sure the Slough branch of a paper merchants would dream of playing
Barcelona or Bayern Munich (or even Swindon) when taking to the pitch of their
local Power League on a Monday night.
I’ll nail my colours to the
mast – I’m currently on the committee of Metropolitan Police FC. The club
president is Commissioner Bernard Hogan-Howe, but I doubt he’d ever pay us a
visit. I have to write the matchday programmes in my own time, heaven forbid I’d
get the chance to do it while at work. Most of the other people at the club
have other jobs, families and commitments which mean their hours devoted to the
club are vital. Like most non-league clubs, they’d fold pretty quickly without
the generosity of the staff. At least the Met have a name and a heritage to
lean on, if not the local community, where there is a plethora of established
teams.
Although I do wonder if the
players of Lisburn Distillery are employees – if so, we may have to play a
friendly against them… Promise we won’t breathalyse their players as they
arrive for the match!
