That's food and drink to this striker...

If only the players on the pitch were made to eat the food served to their adoring fans... Would a hand-crafted chicken balti pie keep Sergio Aguero in shape? Or maybe a footlong hotdog would help David de Gea pad out his shirts. Those Fulham jerseys would never have even been invented, they certainly aren't designed with the average fan in mind.

But food is a major part of the matchday experience. It's a big earner for clubs, superstition for some fans, and just an excuse to soak up lager for others. The half-time queues require people to leave their seats minutes before the whistle. The noise of someone grazing on nachos is something you have to get used to. The smell of the questionable burger. They're all still there, but football is a showcase.

 

Ramsay claimed to play for Rangers      Man Utd Norwich chairwoman Delia Smith

You can dine at Marco Pierre White at Chelsea. Raymond Blanc is found in the Diamond Club at Arsenal. But the average fan just wants to be fed, and they pay well even for the basic slop. Burger with 'ash braaaan and bacon and onions? Laaaavely. Maybe the clubs should be more inventive, like this pie...

I have thought carefully to ensure I don't make a joke about eating all the pies, but I couldn't not add this photo, of someone who clearly did indulge in terrace cuisine.

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