You're not singing (that song) any more

We all remember our first few matches. Whether it was in the 1950s or the 2000s, there are memories for us all. The rosettes and flat caps, or gurning behind the Sky correspondant doing a piece to camera. We may have been told to piss into the pockets of those in front, or spending hundreds in the club shop.

But the sounds of music have changed. Recent weeks have shown up chanting (and the noise of fans in general) in a negative light. Stoke fans booing Aaron Ramsey for having the nerve to break his leg. Chelsea fans booing Anton Ferdinand for telling on John Terry.

Remember when football fans were witty? They still are of course. Rangers fans singing "Rangers til I die" were met with Celtic replying "You're Rangers til July". Gold. Let's look at some chants that seem to have died out.

1. You're going home in a St John's Ambulance

A good example of efficiency in a chant - it can be used in two situations! Usually used to aim at opposition fans, as a pre-cursor to the Sergio Tacchini clad brawls afterwards. It shows an awareness of a noble organisation. Can also be used to mock the injured player, much nicer than "let him die"... Perhaps the new fan, the prawn sandwich brigade, may refer to it as a Sinjun's Ambulance, but fair play for joining in Tarquin.

The paramedics lined up in a 7-8-7-2 formation

2. Woooooooooooooooooooooah, you're shit aaaaaaaaaaaaah

Lined up in the cheap seats behind the goals, trying to peer over the large man in front. You're at home to the league leaders, and you're behind the opposition goal and have seen little action other than a wayward short from your budget Slovakian forward. You haven't got much hope to hold on to, but the goalkeeper is lining up a goal kick... As one, the crowd build to a crescendo of "wooooooooooooooooooooah" with awesome timing as he strikes the ball shouting "you're shit aaaaaaah", with the ahhhhh trying to last as long as possible.

I miss the days of outfielders taking goal kicks

3. My old man...

Definitely one for the past. Not becoming of the opera-style attendances of today. Maybe these days it's becoming more likely that the yoof don't even know their fathers, thus denying them passing down such comments. I suppose people could go on Jeremy Kyle to get paternity tests in order to find out which football club their biological father recommended. Either way, it's rude - do you expect Club Wembley to suddenly utter "fuck off bollocks, you're a cunt?".

Your old man, who is contestant number four, said be a...

4. Robson, Robson man of the match

Back in the 1980s, we'd probably get ten live club matches a year on telly. The FA Cup final, the European Cup final, and assorted other top games. There was an urban myth doing the rounds that if Manchester United were playing, the man of the match award would be automatically assigned to England captain Bryan Robson. Perhaps it was due to his drinking prowess, or just that he was the captain... But it was picked up by crowds, and sung repeatedly when he came to town. Of course it's hard these days to repeat it, but it's easily amended... Messi, Messi man of the match.

Robson was honoured to receive his award for best ploughing-of-Sky-Sports-presenter

To be honest, we've all been to games where our old favourites have died out. These are just four out of a thousand. A quick Google will reveal some classics about individuals, such as "there's only two Andy Gorams".

This ain't Google. And I still hear "you're shit ahhh" in my head at goal kicks...