Saturday, 11 February 2012

The England hot-seat - Four lions who didn't roar

It almost seemed scripted, a WWF-style plotline for the fans, starring Fabio Capello and Harry Redknapp (thankfully not in wrestling spandex). Predictions wise, I'll throw my hands up, my blog about Redknapp anticipated a possible conviction, and now he's odds-on to take over the England manager job.

Always popular with the press, Harry's long club career has been chequered, with promotions, relegations, administrations and transfers. None of these will happen if he takes the England job. He'll have few chances to give his famous car window interviews, or get hit on the back of the head by reserve players. Will he flourish or shrink?

The international manager's job should be (and once was) the highest honour of any budding coach. But look at the previous incumbants:

I'll have a Bale, a Modric and a Friedel please

Graham Taylor


Taylor's Watford and Aston Villa teams performed high above the sum of their parts, based on pressing and wingers. On Five Live on Thursday, he admitted he took the job too early, and his reputation never recovered from a poor Euro 1992 and failure to qualify for the 1994 World Cup, culminating in the Sun's famous turnip photo. Do I not like that.


Graham's tracksuit shows how much he achieved with England

Glenn Hoddle

Gifted midfielder, awful singer. Hoddle learnt his managing trade with Swindon and Chelsea before replacing Terry Venables in 1996. A very good England team fell in round two at France 1998, and Hoddle in 1999 after expressing the opinion that disabled people are paying for previous crimes… Eileen Drewery didn't see that coming.

Glenn regrets going for trial by jury (thanks to Ant Joy for photo)

Steve McClaren

Assistant to Alex Ferguson at Man Utd and Sven Goran-Eriksson for England, Second Choice Steve was promoted to manager in 2006, and his first act was to drop David Beckham, apparently to show who was boss. Beckham returned eventually, and some poor results did for him, with that rainy night at home to Croatia the nadir. He's won the Dutch title with Twente since, but short term flops with Wolfsburg and Forest also shine brightly on his C.V.

Winker

Kevin Keegan

Almost took Newcastle to the league title in 1996 before the biggest blow up since his hairstyle of the 70s. Keegan took over England from Hoddle, but after a decent start, his England team failed in style at Euro 2000, and Keegan resigned in the Wembley toilets after losing to Germany in the last match at the old ground. Rumours he was filming a Brut advert at the time are unconfirmed.

Keegan doing his best Dr Dre impression

Would Redknapp risk his golden boy image with the media by taking on the poisoned chalice of the England job?

The chance to lead Spurs back to the Champions League seems the likely winner, but if Fleet Street's finest is to change and back anyone, it's him. But lose their first couple of games, and it'll be back to the usual mix of root vegetables and Photoshop quicker than you can say 'twiffic'.

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