Half and half scarves - the new scourge of football

You see them outside the San Siro, the Bernabeu and the Emirates. Hanging from stalls next to the programmes and moody t-shirts, proclaiming Arsene Wenger the Colonel of KFC or Gareth Bale as Dr Zaius. They are the black sheep, the ginger cousin.

They are half and half 'friendship' scarves.

I had already briefly touched on these monstrosities in my blog about having a second team, featuring a gentleman at the Emirates (in Arsenal shirt) parading a half Arsenal/half Barcelona scarf, enquiring about the decisiveness of the wearer. But you can almost understand that - the clubs aren't vicious rivals, these days more like a feeder club relationship.

But this season has seen some shockers...

Better than the Suarez masks on the Man Utd fanzine...

The fourth round cup tie at Anfield was already hyped up to epic levels, the first meeting of the clubs since the Suarez/Evra incident. With the noise made when the United defender touched the ball, perhaps any sign of an olive branch was essential. But what self-respecting fan could bring themselves to buy one, let alone wear one? For a Liverpool fan, surely the feel of the word United and a woollen badge would be like sunlight to a vampire? It's just plain weird!

Back in the 80s, there was something of a trend for half and half woolly hats, commonly between English and Scottish clubs - Arsenal/Celtic was a commonly seen pairing. Again, not rivals but a novelty, as English fans were banned from Europe so Rangers and Celtic seemed exotic in comparison.

Just in case he forgets who was playing, he thought 6-1 were the odds on a City win

Of course there may be those who collect any old tat with a club badge on - most aren't fortunate enough to attend every big game, where a match ticket just doesn't do as a memento. These people are those who keep the club shops in business, and will purposefully travel across the world to line the palm of a tout.

The offending scarves must do enough business for people to keep making them, basic economics of supply and demand. Like third shirts and training socks, these evils must be eliminated.

Gladwell fancied getting a shoeing on the Kop

Of course this chap is a case in point. The Kop is famous the world over, in particular for the pre-match rendition of You'll Never Walk Alone, with scarves raised in the air. I'm sure the rest of the Kop would think rather little of this, someone who has parted with the best part of £40 for a shirt, and no doubt hundreds on the ticket itself, an admirable display of commitment. Then he went and spoiled it all by saying something stupid like "one half and half scarf please".

Maybe I'm being cynical - as a season ticket holder of a notoriously frugal club, I begrudge spending much more than my ticket and an occasional pie, and in the twenty-three years since my first match, I've lost some of the excitement.

At least the Seattle entrepreneurs had planned ahead for the new MLS season...

Kurt Cobain knew