Friday 24 February 2012

Mercenary Moneybags XI - imagine the wage bill!

Christopher Samba, who has recently been linked with Arsenal and Spurs, looks likely to sign for Anzhi Makhachkala, Dagestan's finest. Whilst admittedly the chance to play with Roberto Carlos and Samuel Eto'o would be tempting, I'm sure the fact that the club are owned by a billionaire doesn't hurt. In fact, so baffled was I by the tale, I decided to compile a team of the most notorious mercenaries of the game...

And so I don't upset the tactical readers of the blog, I'll go for a 4-4-2 with inverted wingers and a trequartista.

Wenger enjoyed his winter break

Manager - Sven Goran Eriksson

Sven was once one of the best managers in Europe, enjoying success with Benfica and Lazio amongst others. Of course, he managed England and must have got short of cash, and has recently been seen managing the superpowers of Notts County, Ivory Coast and Leicester. His spell with Man City could seem like something of a turn up as he actually did reasonably well, but would he have gone there but for their Thai sugar daddy?

Goalkeeper - Carlo Cudicini

Carlo was one of the best keepers in the Premier League at Chelsea, until usurped by Petr Cech. However, Cudicini didn't do the obvious and move to get regular football - he stayed and kept the bench warm. Even after moving to Tottenham, he has played second fiddle to Heurelho Gomes (shameful) and Brad Friedel, and still seems happy. He did well to come back from a horrible accident, but he's certainly been well remunerated.

Left back - Ashley Cole

Cole was one of the finest left backs in the world, part of the Arsenal left flank with Pires and Henry, and enhanced his reputation at Euro 2004 with an immense game against Cristiano Ronaldo. As a reward for his status, Arsenal offered him a new contract of a paltry £55,000 a week, an amount so small he almost swerved off the road (his words). Cole then moved to Chelsea, married toilet attendant beater Cheryl and lived happily ever after.

God Save The Queen

Right back - Pascal Chimbonda

Signed for Wigan in 2005, and named in the PFA Team of the Year, the world was his oyster. A Wigan team which was doing better than anyone expected, and played in the League Cup final. Logical next step for the last game of the season? Take a transfer request with you on the away trip to Arsenal, and rumour has it, keep it in your sock. Despite a move to Tottenham, he moved around the lower ends of the Premier League, and was last seen at Doncaster.

Centre back - Winston Bogarde

Bogarde had played for some of Europe's finest before signing for Chelsea, having played for Ajax, Milan and Barcelona. A decent defender, he didn't fit in with Claudio Ranieri's plans however and found himself frozen out of the first team. But like most of his other team-mates (of this squad anyway), he chose to call Chelsea's bluff - in four years at the club, he played nine games, earning a reported £40,000 a week over four years.

Centre back - Lucas Neill

Australian Lucas was certainly one of the more brazen members of this team - after leaving Blackburn, he had a choice of two teams to move to: Champions League regulars Liverpool, or perenial yo-yo club West Ham. Needless to say, the Hammers offered him £55,000 a week and he moved to the big smoke, while Liverpool ended up in the European Cup final so I guess they weren't too gutted. Currently captaining a side in the UAE.

Defensive midfielder - Seth Johnson

Perhaps an unfair addition to the squad, as his inclusion is based on income rather than intention, but this story needs telling. A promising midfielder for Derby, Seth was eyed by Leeds, who were then on a mission to buy any half-decent young English player, and a £7m transfer was proposed. The famous story, although denied by Leeds, was that Johnson and his agent planned on asking for £13,000 a week - and were met by Leeds chairman Peter Ridsdale offering £30,000, and then increasing it when met with a scoff. Genius.

Right wing - Samir Nasri

Not many saw this one coming. Nasri signed for Arsenal in 2008, and did fairly well, without changing the world. After an amazing start to the 2010-11 season, it became common knowledge that he was a year away from a free transfer and the bidding started - Arsenal wanted to keep him, Man City and United both wanted to sign him. After indicating he wouldn't accept a new contract from Arsenal, he joined City. Time will tell if it works out, playing second fiddle to David Silva will hurt, but the manner of his move will leave a sour taste for years.

 The kit man pressed shift while printing this shirt

Attacking midfielder - Jimmy Bullard

Jimmy was a popular man, his flowing locks and energetic style were almost a trademark whilst at a decent Fulham. But it was the move to Hull that showed him up - he was on a reported £45,000 a week, promptly got injured, and then refused to move to Celtic unless his wages were enhanced further, despite Hull's financial troubles. The famous goal celebration at Eastlands only buys him so much credit, and it's not much use to Hull now.

Left wing - Harry Kewell

Another chapter of Leeds' rise in the early 21st century, Kewell was an exciting winger/forward from Australia, and a definite case of unfulfilled potential. Kewell signed for Liverpool in 2003 for £5m, including a £2m payoff for KewellGalatasaray kit.

Harry thought long and hard about what to wear in Leeds town centre

Forward - Emmanuel Adebayor

Brought to England by Arsene Wenger in 2006, Adebayor had a good start to his Arsenal career. Like a lot of Arsenal players however, he saw greater riches elsewhere, and in 2008 started agitating for a move to Milan or Barcelona. He ended up staying for another year but the relationship with the fans had gone, and he went to Man City where his infamous goal celebration against the Gunners cost him dearly. Loan spells at Real Madrid and Spurs followed, but it appears his real motivation is all about the Benjamins.

Forward - Nicolas Anelka

Anelka could have been one of the world's finest forwards. Signed for Arsenal in 1997 for a bargain £500,000 and sold two years later to Real Madrid for £23m. Great for Arsenal (his fee paid for a certain Thierry Henry), but it seemed due to bad advice (from his brothers), he couldn't sit still for long, and is now in China, via Paris (again), Liverpool, Man City, Fenerbache, Bolton and Chelsea. Although he has won some trophies, it feels like a career wasted, and never recovered from his initial lust for cash. But again, why China?

Anelka welcomes new signing Sam Allardici to Bolton

(Substitutes/Dishonourable mentions - Wayne Bridge, Carlos Tevez, Niklas Bendtner, Asamaoh Gyan, Sol Campbell)

At the end of the day, the oft-used line that a footballer's career being limited is true, and these players probably have several love children to pay for. But when we look back at the archives (Rothmans, Wikipedia...) we only look at the record books, not the bank balances.

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