Sixteen candles - diluting the European Championship

Back in the 1980s, Molly Ringwald was the queen of teen movies. Pretty in Pink, The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles. Back then, there wasn't a lot of competition in the field, and we look back with rose-tinted glassed at the success of it all. Ferris Bueller, Weird Science and Say Anything receive well-earned kudos.

Pardon the tenuous link, but this could also be a review of a 1980s European Championship. Fewer countries were eligible to play in UEFA's flagship, there were fewer matches to navigate, and we remember fondly the swashbuckling French in 1984 and the Dutch masters of 1988. Although then there were only eight candles...

Orwell hated the French version of 1984

Euro 2012 is the last tournament to feature sixteen teams, with twenty-four scheduled to appear in France 2016. At the time of writing, there are 53 member associations in UEFA, which means that nearly half of the teams eligible will be appearing in France. While I welcome the prospect of some new faces, surely they are doing away with the very thing that perhaps, on a quality basis if not prestige, makes the Euros more appealing than the World Cup.

UEFA refer to an 'historic decision giving middle ranked countries a much greater chance to qualify', but it screams of 'money money money'. The extra twenty matches will earn millions. The smaller nations looking to host will need to share amongst three nations (Scotland, Ireland and Wales are looking to host Euro 2020). Worst of all? A return to the 'four best third-ranked team'. So a team could effectively qualify with just a two points from three games. Rubbish. Back to lots?

UEFA frantically tried to reverse evidence of their excess

In the build up to Euro 96, pre-internet people were probably spouting the same rants about expanding from eight to sixteen teams. Tournaments tend to find the right balance after a while, once we've worked past the tedium of second group stages, replays and drawing lots. But then they expand beyond recognition into bloated behemoths.

World politics have changed so hugely since the 1980s, even as early as 1996 we were treated to Croatia and the Czech Republic - and it's likely that come 2016, a horde of former Soviet and Yugoslav nations may debut at the top table. We love a surprise (Denmark, Greece), but we feed on quality (Spain, Germany). The table is getting bigger. We can only hope there's enough food to go around.

It's too late to plead with UEFA to stay with the sweet sixteen. I don't want to have to re-write this blog in the future with too many 24 references, although a fight between Jack Bauer and Molly Ringwald would be interesting.

The very, very, very traditional opening ceremony for World Cup 2018

At least I got through a whole 80s film reference without mentioning Police Academy... Oh.