Wednesday, 16 May 2012

Relegation kits - a simple formula

Another guest blog, this time from John Lamb, who has earned himself a position on the contributor tab. A nice new angle on football shirts, with a current twist.

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It should come as no surprise to Blackburn, Bolton and even Portsmouth fans. I can predict how teams will do over the course of a season. There I’ve said it. A brave, maybe even arrogant statement, but it’s true. AND this season I’ve put my money where my mouth was and beaten the bookies*. 

Shall I let you in on my little secret? I look at the kits. Or as I like to call them the ‘relegation kits’.

I learnt the lesson young, in 1987 in fact, as my team the mighty Huddersfield Town ran out against the ‘sleeping giant’ (read pre-Sheikh) Manchester City. It was clear for all to see that the sky blues of Maine Road were about to take apart what has now become known as the bruised banana XI.

Town slipped on the banana

Ninety minutes and ten goals against later, our team traipsed off the pitch marching on to relegation and a wonderful day for me at primary school the next day.

And so it is, some lessons are tough to learn. Just think - when early season fever strikes you next August and you think “this season, maybe just maybe”, think again. Just go and look in the club shop and if you’re team’s about to run out in this...

Patchwork football shirt, sponsored by a mop

...then it’s probably not going to be your promotion year. I have to admit I own this kit and amazingly I saw one selling for £35 on ebay the other day – I’m guessing it’s rare and I’ve got ‘the other one’!
You get the gist, I’m sure after seeing that kit you understand how my team played with no guts and no pride in their performance – they certainly couldn’t take pride in their appearance. So let’s look back at this season’s kits and learn from other team’s mistakes.

Bolton Wanderers

 Don't bet on this one

The Shirt:
A revolting kit moving away from the classic white shirt with dark blue trims.
The Team:
No longer the solid backbone of defending with passing added on top, now just a mishmash achieving nothing.

Blackburn Rovers

 They didn't do well at real life Mortal Kombat

The Shirt:
No character, flair or quality
The Team:
No character, flair or quality

Portsmouth

 Spiderman's costume got mixed receptions

The Shirt:
This is actually their third shirt. Sadly this season they’ve been in the red more than the black...
The Team:
All heading for Jobsite.

Oh and if you were wondering why the Cardiff fans don’t want to change their team colours to red, maybe this can explain why:

 Echo... Echo... Echo...

*Disclaimer: I did beat the bookies this year but it had nothing to do with the kits worn by the teams.

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